Sorry, no pleasant Dream in this World

Sorry, no pleasant Dream in this World
Gold Coast, Australia

Gold Coast, Australia


Well, that was a crappolla of a day.

Coincidentally, our Queensland holiday came about when Rosa and I saw the Spongebob Flypants ride on YouTube and I promised her we’d go one day we’d go to Dreamworld. She kept pestering me, I kept on streaming the Dreamworld rides and eventually we booked the flight with our big mission being an awesome day out in Dreamworld.

I got up at 5am, then drove Jo, Rosa and Jenny to the other side of Brisbane. It took two and a half hours of flat-out driving to get there. By this time I was knackered and certainly didn’t feel like being tossed around on the Claw. And I really didn’t feel like paying $280 entry for the four of us.

We were all pretty testy early on, actually. Rosa started crying and refused to go one any of the rides, I chickened out and went on some kids rides with Jenny and I think Jo resigned herself to escorting Rosa around the entire day.

I think Dreamworld can be summed up by Jenny and my wait for the roller coaster. There didn’t seem to be that many people in the park, yet we still had to wait 30 minutes. In that time I watched a guy in red bathers go up and down the pipeline waterslide in the “Whitewater World” next door about ten times. Man, I’d have given anything to get my money back so I could have gone to the water park. Water slides rule. You actually feel like you’re putting some effort into hurtling down a water slide, as opposed to getting strapped in like a baby to a giant claw that throws you around the place until you want to vomit.

Things got worse when we waited 45 mins for the Mick Doohan “Motocoaster” ride that lasted all of 30 seconds. Seriously, it cannot be worth standing and waiting for this. It started raining about this time, and Jo and I were both seriously over it. At least Rosa went out on a high. I coaxed her into getting on the Spongebob ride and, of course, she loved it and went on about three times in a row.

I couldn’t face the Tower of Terror (the most epic of the rides) and had to face up to the fact that, at 36, I’m just too old for thrill rides. I just don’t enjoy them at all.

On the way home Rosa declared this was the best day of the holiday. I didn’t say anything, and just drove the long way back home through an absolutely awesome tropical thunderstorm. I must have been close to becoming hysterical, because I started to laugh at Jenny’s constant chatter and couldn’t stop as I tried to steer the Mitsubishi through the torrential rain. I nearly went off into the cane fields. At least the day ended on a high!


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